Samantha Grant: GBV Survivor

As a continuation of the interviews held in Washington, one of the stories that stayed close to my heart is that of Samantha Grant. A sexual assault victim, who not only walks as a survivor, but is an unsung heroine in her community. This young lady suffered assault on a night out and today stands as a voice that needs to be heard. She has taken her experience and not let it cripple her, but rather give her hope to speak up for those who have been through abuse and suffered at the hands of an abuser. 

Although, I she got through the interview without crying, one could see the torment with which she tells the story. Bravery is but one of the things one can characterize her with. 

Samantha Grant and her friends went out one evening and were ambushed by three men who robbed them. They insisted that she and her friends strip themselves and give all they had. The group of friends complied and did as they were told. Only one of the men pointed a gun at Samantha and insisted she get completely naked. This was to be done while he watched and simultaneously called her unpleasant names. He then asked that she start to pleasure herself as he watched, else he would rape her. The man asked that she lay down and masturbate and ensure that it was believable else he would shoot her. This was all happening with her friends watching and the other two men who were robbing her friends. After they had taken all their possessions, they told them to jump into a nearby lake and not come up for air till the men had vacated. The group of friends complied and did as they were told for fear of their lives. They then had to find their way home naked, and traumatized. 

In the interview, watching Samantha reiterate the story of the violence she encountered is a bitter sweet feeling. One is filled with such remorse and grief for her experience that it tugs at your heart, makes one hate that a human can do such disgraceful and despicable things to another human being. On the other hand, one cannot help but feel a certain level of triumph. That although this man stripped her of her innocence, he didn't steal her soul. Her ability to stand up for herself and speak of her experience in the hope that she can touch a life out there and restore hope. Her being a symbol of hope and a beacon of ability to surpass such a horrendous episode in her life. 

The one thing I absolutely despise about journalism is that sometimes, the stories of people are used to sell newspapers and magazines. That people are paraded as a selling point and we loose grasp of what media is to do. That we are to create awareness, and not utilize the grief of another as a selling point. In the time I was interviewing Samantha, I saw what her story can do for people. How she can be a symbol of hope and simultaneously I saw how her story can easily be manipulated. It made me feel a certain level of responsibility toward her. To ensure that as we take her story back to Africa, that she be seen as more than a victim of abuse, but rather a heroine. A woman who stands tall in her society and speaks of the trauma she endured. Some would plead that objectivity is key in reporting, however I think humanity surpassed any level of objectivity required in reporting. 

This woman was robbed of her innocence in an ordeal that did not last more than 20 minutes, but the scars will live with her for eternity. She will have to wake up everyday and remind herself that she is not defined by what happened to her. She made a decision to speak up against abuse and advocate for the eradication of Gender Based Violence. That is the only story there is to tell, because all too often we want to study the details surrounding how the attack happen. Some will ague why were they out at night, but than the argument becomes centered around right to self and body. No human should ever lay their hands on another in violence, regardless of circumstance. There is no justified violence. 

If we are to advocate for the eradication of violence, we need to create awareness. This is to ensure that if ever you find yourself in a situation that drives you to want to react violently, that you think and not act impulsively. We too need to create a society that is open and supportive of victims. That survivors not feel ashamed to speak up about the violence they endured and in turn we create and army of advocates. People who have endured violence and become a beacon of light for those living in silence, 

When we speak of the eradication of violence, some may say it is unrealistic, I say anything that you lay your mind on is possible. It simply takes the reconditioning of minds and ensuring that everyone join the fight against violence. All the pun in the world intended. 

This blog is dedicated to Samantha Grant, my personal heroine. 

To Read more on Samantha Grant;

Interview with Samantha Grant, a survivor of sexual assault on an evening out with friends. Besides having recently graduated, she now acts as an advocate against sexual assault, by sharing her story on social and public speaking platforms. Having survived sexual assault she can speak from personal experience and thus be relatable to those who are survivors struggling to move past the encounter. She acts as inspiration and is not afraid to speak of her experience. Although still wounding and fragile information to relay to strangers, her motive is to not be crippled by her experience and remain victorious despite what happened to her.

Ø Key Lessons for Namibia

Create a culture where victims can share their stories and inspire survivors. This is to ensure that victim shaming is combated and that survivors be looked at as heroes. A survivors programme would be beneficial to victims, who can utilize it as a healing process, whilst simultaneously inspiring women who have undergone similar situation to grow past what they went through. To have someone come forth who has gone through what you have and ca stand tall and encourage is much more effective and personal.

Contact Details:

Contact:  443-851-4221; sallysongrant@gmail.com

Location:  1134 Penn St. NE, 20002

Men Can Stop Rape

"If not to change the world, why then live?"

Every philosopher is born by ability to get lost in ones thought and try piece together the wonders of the world. To try understand how gravity clings to the earths and doesn't get lost in the universe, or how the oceans know that this is as far as they can travel, or simply how your body knows to wake itself up after hours of sleeping. There are things in the world that many will debate and if not for discovery which is sparked by human curiosity, we would still believe the earth is flat and not round. Now when we come to arguing violence, some will associate it with character and not the influence of society, so it than boils down to perception. In the same manner one may read an article that scrutinizes the circumstances that lead to the demise of a human being, the circumstances that pushed him/her to pull the trigger on their partner and then turn it on themselves. It is argued that it does not matter what lead to such a tragedy, because nothing can explain the killing of another. I strongly disagree, because we have seen a trend in the articles, and I too believe that prevention is better than cure. So how than does one go about the prevention of violence? I am no expert and as such I, Energy 100 fm and the US Embassy of Namibia thought it to be a matter worth looking into. Worth studying and analyzing, as a result, maybe there is a missing link that can be pin pointed and could save millions of lives. 

During July 215, I (Mavis Braga Elias) alongside Joseph Ailonga travelled to the United States of America with the funding of the US Embassy of Namibia to research Gender Based Violence in the United States. This was to research the methods a developed country has implemented over the years and find methods we can implement in a developing country - Namibia. Over a period of two weeks, we visited organizations that deal with Gender Based Violence in Washington DC, as well as New York City. 

With the findings we have created a show called Change - Restoration of Dignity on the airwaves of Energy 100fm to educate and create a wave of change in the mind set of our Namibian people. We air the series during the week, and focus on one organization per week. With the research conducted, I shall be creating blog posts to have you the reader, equip yourself. 

Men Can Stop Rape is a non-profit organization based in Washington DC. It was established in 1997. I shall be posting links so that you the reader can read up more, as these blog posts are based on my personal opinions. 

One of the key factors that Men Can Stop Rape (MCSR) focuses on is the masculinity complex. That a man is to be macho and show no emotion, which leads to a build up of emotion that is not dealt with as men are taught to be tough. Emotional immaturity prevails and as a result, generally we find men who do not know how to deal with emotions of hurt, anger and frustration. This is what we call the masculinity complex. MCST has thus created educational programs in schools to teach boys  how to deal with their emotions. This is to tackle the complex at a young age and have boys know that it is okay to face your emotions. This is to ensure that you are than not trying to teach a dog new tricks come the age of 16, but have them develop with a different mentality. 

I met two young men by the name Kendall Gordy and Kingsley Opara, who were trained bu MCSR since they were about 12. As a result they have been able to grow with the organization and are now doing their internship at MCSR. What was interesting to note was the respect with which they addressed people. Something they say was as a result of having mastered their own identity and not have it defined by society. 

I too met a girl called Kaitlyn Marsh who is undergoing the women empowerment program from Ebony Wheeler. They have two heads to MCSR, which is the men which is known as MOST (Men of Strength) and women which is known as WISE (Women Inspiring Strength and Empowerment).

Below is an in detail summary of MSCR.

Men Can Stop Rape

The Men of Strength Club, or MOST Club, provides young men with a structured and supportive space to build individualized definitions of masculinity that promote healthy relationships. Since 2012, Women Inspiring Strength and Empowerment (WISE Club) has provided young women with a structured and supportive space to learn about healthy femininity and redefine what it means to be a strong woman. Challenging the images and “dominant stories” they see in the media, their communities and across the globe, WISE Club encourages young women to look within and become their best selves.

MOST Club's 22-week curriculum aims to:

·         Provide young men with a safe, supportive space to connect with male peers

·         Promote an understanding of the ways in which traditional masculinity contributes to sexual assault and other forms of men's violence against women

·         Expose young men to healthier, nonviolent models/visions of manhood

·         Build young men's capacity to become peer leaders and allies with women

·         Serve as a hub for social justice activism and nonviolence

Men Can Stop Rape approach

Primary prevention offers men a positive role to play. Put simply, this public health approach is about stopping the violence before it starts. End goals include not only healthy relationships but also healthy communities. In a healthy community the well-being and safety of all its members is of central importance. Gender-based violence, racist violence, and gay bashing destroy a community's health.

Bystander Intervention  Alan Berkowitz asserts in his research that 80% of college age men are uncomfortable when women are belittled or mistreated. They do not express their discomfort because they believe they are the only ones who are uncomfortable. Bystander intervention better equips men to express their discomfort. This strategy provides community members with the awareness, skills, and ability to challenge social norms in their community that support sexual assault. It is a tactic that meshes well with the social ecological model because bystander goals and outcomes can be developed and supported at the different levels.

Kendall Gordy is a blogger who shares the his personal opinions of growing up in modern day society. The challenges men face and healthy masculinity. He ensures that the pieces he writes are relatable and men across the globe can attest to the very challenges he writes about.

From Men Can Stop Rape's perspective, healthy masculinity supports the traits of healthy communities.

Some of the principles MCSR considers integral to healthy masculinity are:

·         Recognizing unhealthy aspects of masculinity

·         Empathizing with others

·         Supporting gender equity and other forms of equity

·         Replacing risky and violent masculine attitudes and behaviours
   and attitudes that respect the self and others

·         Learning skills to constructively challenge unhealthy masculine attitudes and
   behaviours

Engaging men to participate in the creation of a culture of primary prevention within their community requires a parallel process of building and supporting healthy masculinity.

Social Ecological Model

The social ecological model, advocated by the U.S. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention as a model for primary prevention of sexual assault, recognizes that individuals do not exist in isolation. Instead, they exist within complex interplays of contextual factors, both micro and macro, that the model defines as “relationship, community, and societal” influences (see figure below). Social AND Emotional Learning  While still not as esteemed as academic learning, social and emotional learning’s (SEL) value and importance is gaining ground. The connection between academic success and SEL is undeniable. The Carnegie Council on Adolescent Development Task Force and the Learning First Alliance claim that once students’ social, emotional, and physical needs have been addressed, then academic learning can take place.  Dominant Stories of Masculinity Men Can Stop Rape’s (MCSR) groundbreaking use of dominant stories and counter stories has been central to its prevention efforts. Adapted from Hilde Nelson’s Damaged Identities: Narrative Repair, the dominant and counter story concept helps to raise critical awareness of unhealthy masculinity and build in its place a positive, healthier masculinity.

                        

At Men Can Stop Rape, we like to use the phrase, “sustained saturation.” By this we mean that if we are to have a lasting impact, we have to get into schools or cities or states and sustain the work, as well as saturate the environment. This way, the messages and ideas are pervasive and present over a lengthy amount of time. This cannot be done without collaboration.

Women Inspiring Strength and Empowerment

Ebony Wheeler is the head of the WISE Club and is a mentor. She facilitates the activities the club undertakes and launches the WISE Club all across the country. Having met up with her, we discussed the aims and objectives of the club, and its function. At the time of meeting, she too was with Kaitlyn Marsh who is a mentee.

Ebony Wheeler (Right) and Mavis Elias Braga (Left)

WISE Club provides members with:

·         Access to positive female mentors

·         Fun environments

·         Healthier understandings of womanhood and     femininity

·         Increased self-esteem and personality development

·         Increased awareness of men’s role in preventing violence against women

·         Increased skills

·         Public action to prevent violence against women

·         Conflict resolution skills

An evolution begins in WISE Club, because we transform what it means to be a woman by creating safe spaces to discuss difficult issues, like date rape, gender norms, violence and body image issues. Involvement in this revolutionary program can be the catalyst for maturation into a self-aware and confident young woman.

 Kaitlyn Marsh is a student-athlete at Makinley Technology High School in Washington DC. She is currently studying Biotechnology and is a member of the WISE Club. She shed light on the positivity of being a member and how it has provided her a platform to mould her character in accordance to her beliefs and morals. The core lesson she learnt at WISE is to be comfortable in

Kaitlyn Marsh (Left) and Mavis Braga Elias (Right)

Ø Key Lessons for Namibia

                          Target the youth to implement the power of knowledge about violence. The key concept is not to try teach an old dog new tricks, but rather have the child grow up with lessons about violence. This will ensure we target and eradicate the misconceptions of masculinity and ultimately change the mind set of generations to come. Have a child understand that to be masculine does not mean to have no emotions, but rather to have the power to control ones emotions. To ensure the child is taught in school emotional maturity and the power one has to eradicate GBV. The concept of the bystander is fundamental, the power to speak up when one witnesses abuse of another, as opposed to simply walking away. The idea would be to have local school implement a program in the school curriculum aimed at the young child aged 11. As this is when awareness of emotions is experienced by the child. In turn, with the lessons being taught at such a tender age, we create a culture of no violence amongst the youth.

Contact Details:

Interview Neil Irvin, Executive Director; “Men Can Stop Rape”

Info:  http://www.mencanstoprape.org

Contact:  Adrian Valdivia 202-534-1831

Location:  1130 6^th St. NW Suite #100