Broken Love

I do not believe love is supposed to be as painful as they say. You find petty sayings such as "if you can love beyond all hurt and pain then its love". 

Correct me if I am wrong

Love should be soft spoken

whispered into the frail trail of your neck

Everlasting and a day 

Non judgmental but rather understanding

Heart-felt like the blood

pumped from the aorta

Felt by every vessel within you

Remembered in every thought

Uttered during silent nights

Reminisced upon when you are away

Deepened by distance

Embodied by love-making

Cherished like the last breath

 Love should be

Everything but selfish

I once loved you beyond measure, I had butterflies by the thought of seeing you even years into our relationship. My life was centered around yours and I loved it, because I loved you. I do not believe someone can simply fall out of love. No, because then it was never genuine love, as love is not altered. Right there is the obstacle, does it then mean I never loved you. I am in a cloud of confused, blinded by the rays of light that surround me yet feeling hopelessly lost in the darkest place of all-my thoughts. I believe wth every inch of me that I love you, yet how I feel towards you doesn't say that. I dread talking to you, I hate having to spend time with you and I hate that I hate it.. Hold up, let me explain..

Since the day we broke up in the year 2009, I have never felt the same way, towards you and towards being with you. That year was two things, both beautiful and bitter..

Bitter

I felt left alone and helpless

In many ways I felt you were supposed to understand why I did what I did

I felt we were supposed to go through that obstacle together

I felt selfish for what I put you through

I too felt that I wasn't completely to blame

I felt you should have protected me from the world

I felt I was too young to have been in that situation in the first place

I felt bitterness

Beautiful

That was the year we learned to genuinely love each other

That was the year everything fell into place

That was the year we had a beautiful 6th of June

That was the year we couldn't be apart

That was the year sleep was non existent

That was the year 100 texts finished by 1pm

That was the year your sister introduced me a her In-law

That was the year we could sit staring at the ceiling and talk for hours

            or simply not talk, but be having a conversation worth a thousand words

That was the year..

Sweetheart, I can't stand arguing with you all the time about nothing. I would love that this works, but I cannot be in a relationship with someone that is just out to point out the wrongs. It sucks the life out of me. I just can't. I am not asking that you stop caring so damn much, no! I am asking that you be more free spirited and lively as you always were. I ask that you and I be WE again.