Motivational Speech

Upon compiling this speech, I felt a great surge of fear, inadequacy and an emotion I cannot put a name to – a great feeling that was both overwhelming and fulfilling. I disclose these things here because I am not to create or fabricate an image of someone who understands what I am doing standing in front of you, because truth of the matter is that I do not.

I do not have a story that speaks of the struggles I endured trying to pay for my own school fees, I do not have a story of drug addiction and victoriously leaving the life style behind, I do not have a story of an abusive parent, because these are the stories that most inspire and liberate, because these are the stories that are most related to. These are the stories that make the heroes of our nation. I look on with great awe at people who have beat the odds and have come up on top despite having had the most difficult circumstances to grow up in. It is with this that I came to the conclusion that I have absolutely no excuse to not  make it in life and it is from that that I derived the topic on which I will share with you tonight.

The real you versus the you people see

See all too often the judgement placed on our lives becomes what defines us. Such that what people say about you becomes your reality. Allow me to be absolutely blunt but when people call you worthless, inadequate, born to become nothing, a slut, a whore or simply lazy. The more these things are spoken into your life, the more they start to become your reality. It is the same with having someone compliment you and tell you that you are absolutely talented; you start to see yourself in that light. When people give praise to your achievements, it creates a level of pride that in turn boosts your self esteem.

Growing up I was looked at as the girl that is far too outspoken and has a personality that screams ‘will fall pregnant at 16’. I am not even entirely sure what about an eleven year old can make one believe that they are prone to fall pregnant at a young age. Here is what is interesting about the fact that people constantly told me I look like I would fall pregnant young. I believed them. I started to believe that I was a wild teenager who was far too experimental with life, and far too outspoken, but what about being experimental and outspoken directly equates to actually ending up in bed with someone? It was not until I was in grade 7, when Mrs. Brandt from this very Oranjemund Private School told me that I should one day return to thank her for having believed in my potential that I started to view myself differently. Let me give you a background on Mrs. Brandt, she is a woman who was feared by most scholars and was as tough as nails. She taught math and would reward you for good work. Being rewarded by her must be what a noble peace prize winner feels like, because she made you feel special. Now, for a 12 year old me to be told that she believes in me was huge. It was like getting both a Christmas gift and a birthday gift in one year, in a black house hold. That was the turning point in my life. I started to believe that indeed I do have potential. It was from where my love for math was born and it was from where I never quit no matter how hard it got.

When I went to high school I become rebellious as a defence mechanism. Again I was seen as anything but intelligent. I was too mature for my age and in turn I was prone to get into tussle of words with girls far older then me which earned me a name that no one can be proud of. I used it as a shield so that people could not get close enough to hurt me. While they so eagerly believed I was good for nothing, I went on to lead societies, I was a leader in Delta for Christ (ironic right) and I become the chairperson of the history society and excelled in my school work, all the while letting the outside world believe that I had an attitude, which was not exactly false. I recall a day in my maths class in grade 11, when the teacher was telling us to drop maths higher level and simply do ordinary level because we weren’t good enough. She then asked us to tell her what we plan on studying in university so as to decide whether we should stay on higher level or move to ordinary level. I told the class that I want to study civil engineering, the class laughed and said I was far too girly and not nearly smart enough. Now, my character is such that if you tell me I cannot do something, I will go out there and show you just how wrong you are.

Only, when I told my biological father this (I have two dads, biological and step) he told me that I was too girly for something like engineering. So when someone who is that close to you does not believe in your dreams it tarnishes the confidence in you. It breaks down something with in you, because this is someone you trust. This is not a class mate who wants to poke fun at me, this is my father. But since my character is such that, if someone tells me I cannot do something I go out and I show them just how well I can do it, I went and enrolled at the Polytechnic of Namibia as an engineering student. The doubt people had in my abilities was the first hurdle, the second was believing in myself, because once people have such a perception of you, you tend to do double the work to prove both yourself and them wrong. First year as an engineering student was both hell on wheels and sheer heaven. A paradox yes. I loved the challenge, but the challenge was far more difficult than I expected. However, having passed grade 12 with flying colors I grew cocky and underestimated just how difficult it really is. So yes you guessed it, I failed math!

The one subject I was so sure I could pass, well there is grade 11 math and then there’s engineering math. Two worlds apart, but having failed math was the greatest blessing I ever received. It knocked me straight back down to earth and showed me that, it is not ambition that makes one pass grades, but hard work. I had to go through that, sheer embarrassment because for a minute there my dad looked as though he may have been right and also it made me realize that it was not about what people say you can and cannot do, but about how much you want something regardless of what people may say.

I had a complex that too needed altering, I for so long lived behind a shield warding off people, that it almost became exactly who I am. I struggled to get people to see the real me, because what I portrayed became more evident. My closest friends hated me at first until they got to know me. What good can one drive from being disliked until you let people in. So the real me became a shadow if what people saw on the outside. It started to outweigh who I really am.

The best of ourselves is usually masked behind layers and layers of protection. Then we grow offended when people label us things we are not. I am by no means saying that you are to be so consumed by the world and what they say about you, but wouldn’t it be great if people didn’t always get the wrong impression of you. Such that, a girl can be wearing mini-skirts and crop tops and will get offended when guys do not want a serious relationship. The way you dress is not to define who you are, but it is a reflection of your character. Men will speak about women with derogatory terms and expect to find a good woman, yet good girls tend to look right past them. The same analogy applies to those who are simply ill judged. That you can be an A+ student, yet people simply assume you ate boring and discard you as a nerd.

Truth of the matter is that one cannot dictate how people relate to you, or how they judge you. What you can dictate is what’s on the inside. What potential lies on the inside is completely up to you. Regardless of what people may have said or how it is they perceive you. If you want something, go and get it. If you believe you can be something, do it. Impossible has the word possible in it. Let me tell you a story:

There was a couple who got married and the man promised his wife that he would be wealthy one day and that she should just trust him.

Lesson 1: Believe in your dreams.

He told her that if he didn’t get to a place where he can provide for her well, she should leave him. This man went from interview to interview, pitched ideas to banks for financing and near some did all he could to see out his dreams. He wanted success so much, he went with everything he had.

Lesson 2: Tirelessly working for what you believe in.

His wife stuck by his side and loved him. She watched him slave after his dreams day after day. I bet you are all expecting me to tell you how his dreams came true because he was diligent. No, one day he came home to his wife. He asked his wife to leave him because he wasn’t going to see out his dreams and couldn’t see them materializing. He believed she deserved better, because he was ready to give up. His wife, stayed. She told him that she refused to leave him, simply because of something as petty as wealth.

Lesson 3: Money isn’t everything.

To cheer him up she decided, let’s play a game.  The game was to incorporate his visions and dreams. They decided to get houses involved, because his passion was property. They got money involved so that they could trade the houses. They added property, so that one could buy the property to build on. They got a bank, they got a dice. They involved taking chances, and they involved going to prison to ensure that there were consequences for ones actions. They ensured that you derived a 20 000$ income if you could pass begin. They played this game and realized that it was actually fun and embodied everything he wanted. They decided to get funding and get it played around the world.

Lesson 4: You need a team who can restore your faith when its down.

They were turned down by potential investors, because apparently the game was too difficult to understand. They didn’t give up and searched for funding till eventually someone bought into their dreams. Today the game is played all over the world, and most of you have played it, some of you even have it in your homes. It is known as monopoly. Today Mr. Charles Darrow is to whom we owe a lot of families coming together to play.

Lesson 5: your dreams will come true, sometimes just not in the way you envisioned it.

I decided to tell you this story because most of us are down in our luck, simply unbelieving and have somewhat given up the possibility of ever seeing out our potential, because we have been led to believe it is impossible. Yes, you may be unable to pay for your education. Yes, your parents may not want you to go study what you are really passionate about. Yes, you have wasted opportunities that were given to you. Yes, everyone around you is doing well and you are not. Or maybe, yes you are doing well but the weaknesses in your personal life affect your career. Yes, these are all issues that we face. But these are only limiting factors, the hurdles in the way. Everyone has the things that set them back. But here’s the good news, you have identified them. Now you can work on them and past them.

The lessons I leave with you today are:

Lesson 1: Belief in your dreams

Lesson 2: Tirelessly working for what you believe in

Lesson 3: Money isn’t everything.

Lesson 4: You need a team who can restore your faith when its down.

Lesson 5/; your dreams will come true, sometimes just not in the way you envisioned it.

Above speakers at the night of inspiration from left: Mavis Elias, First Lady of the Republic of Namibia Madam Monica Geingos and Vincent Shimutukweni