Palms

What if I told you we didn't have to be over?
That our pride didn't have to drive us apart,
That the disagreements can be smoothed over
That all it took was a simple,
"I was wrong."

That you wouldn't loose self in an apology
That pride took more, then it did give
That everything could be as it always was.

The late night calls,
Mixed with the late night chats.

That indeed it was beautiful,
but did it have to be over?

I remember when it all started.
How time seemed to evade us
There never seemed to be enough hours to take each other in
Never seemed to be enough minutes to have a phone call last
I wanted to know everything there was to know about you,
I wanted to know what made you happy
As much as I wanted to know what to know what makes you cry,
and not because I wanted to be a punchline to a Joe Thomas song,
but because I genuinely was intrigued.

By this mass of a human being,
Strong yet gentle,
Guarded yet free,
Independent yet could learn to depend.

You were a mixture of paradoxes,
A paradox that I wanted to decipher and come to understand.
You made hieroglyphs look simple,
So complex were you that I couldn't wait to take you apart
Learn you, layer to layer,
Unlearn the restraints I had.

I wanted you to show me, what it is to love
To love everything about you
To teach me the creases of your soul
To show me the cracks of your heart,
Trusting me enough to smooth them over.

I couldn't wait for the days to look like months and unfold into years,
I couldn't wait to be the place you come to for warmth,
reassurance,
I couldn't wait to be the place you went to for a great laugh,
for our souls to resonate with each other
For the beat in my heart to match yours.

I wanted to be able to lie on your chest and tell you everything about me
The beautiful, the ugly
For you to be able to paint portraits of my life
Making everything look like one beautiful master piece

I believed,
That you would last.
That you'd be my forever to claim.
I was wrong.
AGAIN.