Recognizing when it is okay to let yourself live

Without the confinement of the walls that have been built by society and what they deem to be normal and acceptable.

Being able to choose you. Selfishly choosing your happiness above that of anyone who threatens your peace of mind and your joy.

Going after the joys of your heart and stopping at nothing to ensure that you come from a place of existing and genuinely living.

Taking of the shackles society places on you and choosing your journey in accordance to what you want and not what seems fitting.

We hear every day about how "life is a journey" but does one really understand the depths of that statement.

It teaches you that you will fall. Get up.

You will get it wrong. Try again.

You will mess up. Fix it.

That leap of faith that allows you to allow a boy into your life when you thought love would never find you.

That leap of faith that has you sending in your proposal for the up-tenth time because you hope and dream they will finally hear your plea.

That leap of faith that has u trying out the lasagne dish yet again after failing miserably the first time and almost burning the house down.

I mean genuinely getting up and living a purpose filled life. Being okay with where you are, striving to be better and saying MY PACE.

Walking the life journey at your pace. Not looking next to you and what the next person is doing. But pacing yourself in accordance to YOU.

Sometimes it's okay to dance event though there’s no music playing and everything looks a mess.

It simply means you will appreciate the good when it comes around. It may just come dressed in a lazy smile and he may be called... 

Recognizing where you are not wanted and letting go.

The body has an internalized monitor

that beeps and goes off when it is in a space it is not wanted.

The natural instinct

is to make excuse after excuse as to why,

this person surely must want you because they have done A,B,C

If anything, it is the ego that is protecting itself from rejection.

It is easier to hold onto someone who doesn't want you than to let go

It has little to do with being faithful but more to do with self-value

More being able to understand

that you deserve better

and deserve clean pure cut love

That does not come with confusion and feeling wanted

When you value yourself

and will not go seeking affection

in a person who clearly wants to give it on their terms.

You know your worth

It's so easy to get caught in a cycle

of "getting little".

being okay with the little you get from this person.

Convincing yourself it okay

It is not okay. I

t is not okay to feel unwanted.

It is not okay to convince yourself it will get better.

You deserve better.

That through thick and thin love

comes with wedding vows.

Not a situationship

and not a confused boyfriend

who doesn’t know what they want

We have been programmed

to believe love is all enduring.

Yes it is,

with a husband

and a man who will love you RIGHT.

Not a boy whose confused

QUIT MAKING EXCUSES!

Get up and GO!

I mean get up and go in search of your true husband!

Enough with the

"He didn't talk to me all of yesterday becz he was drinking"

"He speaks down on me when he is upset"

"He is just confused"

God is not the author of confusion.

He will not give you a confused partner,

nor one that will make you feel less than what you are!

We need to quit playing these games!

Quit accepting less than what we KNOW we deserve.

Quit making excuses and start living purpose!

It is hard to kick a bad habit.

If that boy/girl is a bad habit,

kick the habit!

Tear stained face and all, walk!!

You will be okay!

My heart on a sleeve

"I am able to get everything else in my life right - wok and school, but the one area in my life I cannot seem to master is relationships." 

I am the one person who can juggle literally the most, but the moment my love life is falling apart, it's as though I am crippled. I have discovered my area of weakness, and really this is not news. I am not surprised at the fact that I am actually horrendous at mastering that area of my life. I used to think that victory was getting ahead in life, attaining success and being able to commit my life to Christ. Only, what I never factored into the equation that I need to work on who is inside. The Mavis that the world sees is polished, and well most of it is truth. However, no one knows what is going on, on the inside. The places people don't see and I can't put a filter over. 

My heart. You know, the most detrimental thing I have done to myself is having believed that I can plan out my life and have it work out that way. That I can simply paint a picture of life, and everything else shall ensure it aligns itself with that picture. I believed that I would be in a long term, high school love relationship. That heart break and the ugly smears of the world are but a myth to my life. That I wouldn't have to live through lifes cruelty, well at least not in my love life. I believed that I would go through life with one prince, and be able to walk down the isle having known only one man romantically. I was wrong. Not just wrong, I mean WRONG! In every sense of the world. 

I did not know that I would live to loose the love of my life. The one man who was willing to give me the world. That loved me more then words can comprehend. Who was willing to give me the world and place it at my feet. Who was willing to be the stepping stone I needed to acquire greatness. Who saw the diamond in me when the world saw rocks. He was my first love, and I ruined what looked too perfect. I was curious about the world, and if anything thought that he was ruining life for me. That I was to live an exhilarating life. That being madly in-love was robbing me of who I could be. My mother warned me that I was making a mistake by leaving him, and I did not listen. I walked away from the one thing in my life I live to regret. A man who loved me more than the word itself. The consolation is that if he was meant to be, he would be. I can't help but believe that he deserves better though. That he deserved someone who looked at him the way he looked at me. Deserves someone whose eyes didn't wonder and need to imagine life without him. That he needed someone who never wanted a life without him. If there is one person I wish the best and lifes happiness it would be him. He never broke my heart, I did that myself. He taught me a lot about myself, he constantly held the mirror up at me and wanted me to see the true me. He knew before me that I kept running from myself. From the restless girl in me who wanted to experiment with things that would inevitably burn my fingers. he was right about many things, the one thing he was wrong about is that I would find my way sooner rather than later. I didn't know that it would be too late. Him, I hold as a cherished memory. One I can hold close to my heart and say that I was loved. 

Soon after that I found someone who taught me vulnerability and innocent love. The kind that smothers you with more attention then you know what to do with. 

But see, the person that crossed my path that ripped me apart came in the form of a man of God. He was dressed in white, but reflected anything but light. He is the kind of man your father warns you against and the kind of man mothers never wish to have their daughters cross. He was the kind of man you do not wish upon your worst enemy. He was cunning and could paint pictures of perfection. Matter of fact he would paint pictures of sheer perfection only to turn around and tell you its all a game for him and that's how he catches his prey. He will down right talk marriage with you when he couldn't so much as fathom a life with you. He will sit and caress your hair whilst thinking about how he will marry another woman. I used to believe that these things only happen in movies, and I sure as hell never thought it would be my story to tell. I never thought that I would wake up to a picture of the man who was promising me the world, clutching the hand of his bride. I never thought that bride would be someone else, the very person he promised was nothing to worry about. 

I am numb of feeling. I am not hurt, because I have long since let him go. I simply feel betrayed. You know when you sit and stare into nothing, because you are dazed at how anyone can be so cruel. When people go ahead and choose their happiness, never so much as stopping for a minute to consider you or your feelings, you need to retract. While you may be sitting writing blog posts about people who have long since closed your chapter, you need to try understand how you got confused in the chapter reading. This story is mine to tell. Of a time I believed that humanity existed and was shown that in fact its just humans that exist. I was always told I have a fairy tale outlook on life and I am damn naive to think people do not intentionally hurt others. Truth is, there are many things I seem to have gotten wrong about life. This is not one of those stories where I eventually become a savage who wants to hurt other people, no. This is a story about a girl who once wore her heart on a sleeve and now has packed a suit case and locked it. 

and threw the key away. 

There is nothing left to give. 

I wish you the best

Today, I discovered life. That it can come at you in a mirage of images. 

Where you are unable to grasp what it could possibly mean, 

that one moment you can be painting vivid dreams with someone

Have them carve out a future of possibilities, 

painting the smiles of the children you are to bear

The kitchen you are to design and

the home you are to build. 

Making the promises of a future which seem within your grasp, 

he came like a wind willing to whisper away all the trails of the past

only he would become the hurt you wish to erase

You would wish his name was written in the sand of the beach

so that the next high tide could erase it

The sand is my heart

the waters my past

and like the waves that promise to never cross the shore line

he promised to never hurt me

only, he didn't know that promises are not meant to be broken.

Instead he found himself making promises to the next women to cross his path

a narrow four months saw him walking down the isle of a court

to sign papers that promised her the forever he promised me

I am not so much hurt as I am disappointed

In the fact that humanity no longer exist

that one can not be bothered how many hearts you leave bleeding 

on the way to acquire your ever after

I know they say never to expect anything from life

else you will find yourself drowning in disappointment

but I would rather drown in broken promises then live a life full of black

forgetting that there is the white which is the light at the end of the tunnel. 

I write this to wis the man who never was mine to have a happy marriage

That he will find the happiness he promised me with her

not because I want to be the bigger person

but because I thank God I never lived to make infinity signs with a temporary person

That although it did hurt, I live to tell the story

of a lost love that was never mine to have

That he walked away before he could tear my heart to pieces.

I wish you the best of happiness. 

I wish you the best of marriage. 

Jan Mohr Public Speaking - 18 August 2016

Firstly, I would like to commend the AAA Namibia team, for doing an impeccable job of bringing young people together. The first time I had contact with the team, they had approached me via email to feature me on their videos (check them out on YouTube - AAA Trailblazers) as they believed there are plenty of Namibians out there who need a voice and can inspire the youth. What struck me about the team wasn’t just the professional manner in approach, or team effort but the vision they had. To have a genuinely passion and need to impact the youth.

Secondly, I would like to commend the Jan Mohr team, for agreeing to have this event hosted at their school, not only allowing learners to have a voice and start their public speaking journey, but to allow the youth to come together and have thought provoking conversations. I do not take moments like these for granted, as it is in them that we meet people, learn a lesson and go home changed.

Lastly, you the audience, that could have chosen to be anywhere tonight, but chose to attend this night of inspirational talks. To support your fellow students, your brothers and sisters or friends.

With that I say good evening ladies and gentlemen, my name is Mavis Braga Elias, a civil engineering student, who not too long ago finished my matric and ventured into the world. It is after which I joined energy100fm, a local radio station and for whom I have been working for 4 years now. Additionally, I founded a Charity organization called Love is Charity that looks to cater to the less fortunate. I later started up a Events company called Ehaveco Events with my fellow business partners Martha Nangolo and Eva Fritz. I too recently was appointed as Director of the One Economy Foundation alongside the First Lady of the country, Madame Monica Geingos. I am 23 years old and I do not share this with you tonight to have you in awe, but rather to motivate you in achieving your dreams and ambitions. In all honesty, when they said I am to be the keynote speaker here tonight, I somewhat felt out of my depth . I am used to taking center stage and hosting events, or behind a mic where no one can see me. However, there is one thing I do have that I bring with me there tonight and that is a passion for young people. Being young myself I have much to learn, however there are key lessons I can share that I have learnt along my journey.

There are various lessons that I can share with you, but there is one thing that has stayed with me, which was derived from a conversation I had with my father to which he told me, Mavis – You need to become obsessed with what will make you successful and not become obsessed with success. Why this particularly struck me has little to do with not having known that in life the one thing that can drive you is ambition and passion, but more to do with the fact that we have now come to a time and age where our decisions are impacted by a need for money. Although money is for survival, it cannot become the one thing that we have at the forefront when we speak of attaining our dreams and ambitions.

Let me share a story with you. When I was young and growing up, well I am young, but I mean when I was younger, I worked relentlessly at school and academics. I had an excellent work ethic, but I lacked the one thing that anyone needs to make it in life. Integrity, my father defines it as what you do when no one is watching. I had a great sense of potential but significantly failed to harness it. I was intelligent, but I couldn’t quiet focus the intelligence to grant anything meaningful. I was so wrapped up in being popular and trying at all costs to ensure that I was feared at school, which looking back today I can honestly say, was the dumbest decision I have ever made. Not only did it have me walk out of high school with a poor resume, it costed me in more ways then one. I could easily have secured scholarship or bursaries to go study abroad, but my resume wouldn’t allow. A resume is a testimonial that your teachers write upon you completing your high school. Mine, looked terrible. I later was able to look back on my high school career and wished I had made better choices, and I can say that if someone had been there to guide me and coerce me into making better decisions I may have done better. Although, I failed to see the people that did try. I had a teacher named Mrs. Tamsen who made it her life goal to check on my every single day at school. I for one, couldn’t comprehend why she constantly was so bothered to check if my school uniform was worn correctly, hair tied back as is stipulated in the rule book. I was adamant to be anything but behaved at school, at whose cost? Although, I didn’t know that then, I know today that it was to my detriment.

High School plays such a significant role in shaping your future that we take for granted how significantly. It is in high school that you shape your character, as University will come with its own set of tests and if anything, you need to be stern and firm in who you are as a person to ensure that no level of peer pressure will have you cave and lose yourself. I didn’t fully understand that when I was in high school, because I believed that I would mold and better myself in university, not knowing that, that could go incredibly wrong.

I tell you these things, because if there was a time travelling machine I would go back to tell myself the very things I am telling you today. I was privileged enough to have found friends who I can honestly say played a vasts role in who I have grown up to be and who I am going to become. I am lucky. Not all of us get as lucky.

Now, if I could go back to find Mavis from 5 years back I would tell her the following;

1.  Be careful who you call a friend, because when they say birds of a feather flock together, they mean that your feathers will soon look like their feathers. We can try excuse it and claim that we want to be better influences to our friends and can perhaps help them become better people, although noble. You are at a far too fragile age in your life to be wanting to help better people. You are at a stage in your life where you are allowed to be as selfish as you need to be in your self-preservation and growth. You are to choose you at any juncture, because the time for sacrifices will come.
2. Give your education everything you have. Ensure that you out perform yourself and never settle for mediocre. There is greatness in you, you just need to tap into it and go looking for it. Ensure that your academics take the fore front in all that you do. Learn. Learn all that you need to, absorb the information and build your IQ. Polish your language and let go of the slang. Ensure that when you walk into a room and start speaking, people stop to listen. Not because you are saying something particularly useful, but because you command attention with your manner of speaking.
3. Drop the defense mechanisms and learn yourself. Understand who you are thoroughly, from the places of weakness to strengths. Learn your strengths so that you may polish them and use them to your advantage, because in your strengths lies your potential and passions. It is in your strengths that you will find career choices, it is in your strengths that you will learn who you are. In the same light, embrace your weaknesses. Acknowledge the areas in which you are weak, because by acknowledging them, you can work on them. You will be able to decipher how to combat the areas of weakness. If you don’t know your weaknesses, they are left untested. This can be particularly detriment, as they could catch you off guard. Teach yourself about yourself, lean to understand yourself, because in doing so, you will know what you will stand for and what you will fall for. They say, if you do not know what you stand for, you will fall for anything.
4. Read. Teach yourself about the world, because if you know the world, it is at your fingertips. With knowledge comes power. The more you know, the bigger your advantage to your opponent. Pick up a newspaper and educate yourself about the world, read plenty of books because in them you’ll discover writing skills and passions. When you know a lot more, you make better decisions. It broadens your way of thinking. It expands your horizon.
5. Vision cast. Do not leave it to later, hoping that life will pan out as it supposed to.

Thank you.

I am no poet

Tonight, I realized the truth.

I attended a spoken word concert,
that was filled with the kind of poetry that undresses you
the stage had poets who were anything from deep
To straight up hard telling.

Tonight, I found out the truth.
That I am no poet.
I don't spit lines that synchronize into a sonnet
My wrting doesn't have quadrants of rhyming words
Nor do I have stanza's that put Shakespeare to shame

Truth is, I am no poet.
I don't touch the roots of writing
enough to go searching deep in your soul
enough to have you reflect on past hurt, or future possibilities.
Deep enough to have you snap your fingers or have the crowd on their feet in a standing ovation
because so obvious is it that I am no poet.

I am much different to a writer, a verse-maker or a lyricists

I .am emotion,
pouring out onto a page.
I am tears
pouring out onto a page
I am ink
begging to paint a picture
I am truth
begging to be heard.

I may not respect how ancient greece invented poetry
I may not fully understand understand sonnets
and I may not fully comprehend poetry.

What I do understand is a need to have my voice heard,
I understand the liberation found in utterance of thoughts,
writing of emotions
and expression of feelings.

The world may  not perceive it to be brilliant,
but brilliance lies in the eye of the beholder
such is the beauty of life.

Calm seas

What does happiness look like?

Well, it looks like blue lights
Under which I dance
without a care in the world as to whom may be watching

Well, it looks like choosing a smile
when people wonder what has you radiating happiness
when you have a secret spread across your face
because no one knows but you

That your happiness comes from a place within
filled with possibilities
filled with endless dreams
that spread before you

When you walk into a room
you ooze confidence which is easily mistaken for arrogance
which is okay
because you know the truth

The truth is that you spend everyday choosing happiness
hard pressed against bitter thoughts but choose the light at the end of the tunnel
because no matter how big the ocean of worry may seem
you know that there is a shore line
That promises to kiss the worries away
promises that the tide will seize
that what may look like a big wave, is really just a wave hoping to get to the beach
that lightly caresses the grains of sand because that's how little you problems are

When the sea whispers, it never speaks past the shells
but you need to be willing enough to listen.

Running

How long will I keep writing my emotions on pages on the internet?

How long will I keep talking about missing you, yet doing nothing?

How long will I have to restrain myself from reaching out and pouring out my heart?

How long will I keep telling myself that it's best I let you go?

You know, logic dictates that I should let you walk away.
That watching your back, should leave me with a sense of - I'll be okay
Because the arguments got ugly
The feelings too raw
The feelings too intense,

I am afraid. Terrified of you
Terrified I may be right,
may be right to let you go
Yet, what if I am wrong?
What if in not fighting for you I am loosing someone who would love me endlessly
Who will admire every part of me
Who will study my features with admiration

God knows I wish I knew
Knew whether I am making the right decision

You burn far too bright to be an experiment
"I may fall for you so deep, that I may never recover".

For every time I want to reach out, that thought binds me

What if I do ask you to come back
What if you do come back
What if I fall so head over heels for you
only to loose you

Would I rather loose you now when the ache is a throbbing of the heart
or loose you later when it cuts to my soul

Then it begs the question, why is everything tied to loosing you?

Because I am  not certain you are mine to have.

Am I right? or is my head so far up my arse I can't see a good thing when it's standing right in front of me?

Band Aid

"The convenience of having a friend in a lover is unmatched."

I wanted to be your friend.
The place of solace you run to when the world wasn't as it seemed
When hours tumbled into days of working yourself to exhaustion
When all you wanted was a time out, a place to call comfort
I wanted to be so many things matched into one,
like the fire that lights up a blaze
Sets it on fire
I wanted to be the oxygen that kept your flame alive
the air that surrounded your light
I wanted to be so many things
A lover, a friends, a partner

Only, we didn't even get to the starting line
We didn't get to taste each others flavor
Never got a chance to even whisper "I love you"
On a cold night as we gazed at the stars

I wanted to be your band aid
I wanted to soothe out the hurt
The things that went wrong
I wanted to be the one to stitch you together
To be able to admire the handcraft
The hand work
Because it meant I could love you broken

Truth is, in mending you I was mending myself
I spoke of  how - hurt people hurt people
But what I really meant to say is that hurt people heal people
Because in your brokenness you'd recognize all the ways in which you can mend me
You find ways to soothe out the cracks, because you would apply the very things you wish someone would recognize in you
You would be able to do the things you wish someone would do for you
Because there's a part of our brains that believes,giving the treatment you wish to receive may actually bridge the gap you may feel

So in the end,
I ended up with more broken pieces.

I now spend nights reading through the conversations we used to have
The time when we shared dreams
The time were laughter was plenty

I now spend my days wishing I could get back the days when things were simple
Days were spent texting away
Nights were spent in cinemas

I now spend evening wishing that you didn't feel so far away
I don't know when I decided I was okay with you becoming a memory
But when that decision was made, I obviously wasn't in my right state of mind.

Pride, is poison.
It kills the very things you are trying to nurture,
and by the time you open your eyes to your imperfection
It's too late.

Now, I spend my nights wishing
For a friend in a lover unmatched.

Palms

What if I told you we didn't have to be over?
That our pride didn't have to drive us apart,
That the disagreements can be smoothed over
That all it took was a simple,
"I was wrong."

That you wouldn't loose self in an apology
That pride took more, then it did give
That everything could be as it always was.

The late night calls,
Mixed with the late night chats.

That indeed it was beautiful,
but did it have to be over?

I remember when it all started.
How time seemed to evade us
There never seemed to be enough hours to take each other in
Never seemed to be enough minutes to have a phone call last
I wanted to know everything there was to know about you,
I wanted to know what made you happy
As much as I wanted to know what to know what makes you cry,
and not because I wanted to be a punchline to a Joe Thomas song,
but because I genuinely was intrigued.

By this mass of a human being,
Strong yet gentle,
Guarded yet free,
Independent yet could learn to depend.

You were a mixture of paradoxes,
A paradox that I wanted to decipher and come to understand.
You made hieroglyphs look simple,
So complex were you that I couldn't wait to take you apart
Learn you, layer to layer,
Unlearn the restraints I had.

I wanted you to show me, what it is to love
To love everything about you
To teach me the creases of your soul
To show me the cracks of your heart,
Trusting me enough to smooth them over.

I couldn't wait for the days to look like months and unfold into years,
I couldn't wait to be the place you come to for warmth,
reassurance,
I couldn't wait to be the place you went to for a great laugh,
for our souls to resonate with each other
For the beat in my heart to match yours.

I wanted to be able to lie on your chest and tell you everything about me
The beautiful, the ugly
For you to be able to paint portraits of my life
Making everything look like one beautiful master piece

I believed,
That you would last.
That you'd be my forever to claim.
I was wrong.
AGAIN.

Red Rose

The fine velvet texture of a rose,
lifted out of a bucket of water
A little cold, yet beautiful

You smell the aroma that promises romance,
Reminding you of the boy who bought you dozens of roses
Not because there was an occasion,
but simply because he wanted to see you smile
He knew that roses brought warmth to your heart
Made you look at the beauty of life
The wonders of creation.

Roses are red,
Violets are blue,
I want to make you happy,
Will a rose do too?

Whether blue, red or white
They still paint pictures of possibilities
of romances laid out on a sheet
Staining it with passion
Our passion
That, that echoes between us
Audible enough to decipher
Yet, a low murmur of moans

Ever wondered why moans of pleasure escape your throat?
Involuntarily,
Before you can formulate the thought of pleasure
It escapes you. And the here, the now,
Is all that matters.

Such is the effect of a rose
A rose, lifted out water
Because their petals no longer become -
He loves me, He loves me not.

They simply are,
a moments pleasure.
a moments moan.

Pastel

I will recreate till everything is beautiful,
till I can no longer tell where the pink meets the blue.

My life shall be beautiful again.

I will be able to greet you with  a smile,
warm enough to touch,
yet distant enough to not intrude.

I will be the good in your bye,
'cause with every goodbye comes a memory
of the times we shared
the memories we made.

One day, I will be able to look back
and be glad you walked into my life
and showed me that yellow
doesn't only need to be in sunflowers
it too can be in the sunlight

That you can look at someone
and it's okay that they are no longer around.
because goodbye doesn't always have to come with sorrow

It can come with the new opportunities
an opportunity to discover self
a time to fill your life with you

To teach yourself how to draw the traces of you face
without needing a warm hand next to you
To be able to discover your heart again
without trying to smooth over the cracks.

I used to think the cracks in my heart were ugly
but now I know that each crack tells a story
it may not always be pleasant,
but it is my story.

and so I will go about finding the pastel
colors in my life,
discovering the true beauty of self
because I will make everything beautiful.

I will make it pastel beautiful.

The Walking Contradiction

“Do not compare me to that girl Mavis,” are the words that inspired this piece. It’s not a matter of trying to plead my case, because at no point will there be reference to my life situation, but rather dissecting how one can utter those words and not know the person in question.

See, we live in a society filled with more gossip than we can take in. Such that to we can draft a full up biography, with references, of people we have never met, never mind laid eyes on. Social media was invented to have humans interact and connect from miles away, and although there are plenty of advantages, the disadvantages stare us dead in the eye. That one can be so informed about another’s life without so much as having uttered a sentence to those said people over months. The bother is not so much the information as it is the use of information. That we can sit around a table and have a full fledged conversation about people we genuinely do not know. That rumours can colour another’s reputation by a simple “Did you hear?” and after that source A will be sure to add spice and everything nice at the next opportune time to share.

It irks me that we are so easily persuaded about peoples character without so much as an actual analysis, that one can have such an engraved opinion on someone they know nothing of. Not taking into consideration the obvious factors that will come into play, such as people will be sure to paint anyone in a negative light if they have a score to settle, jealousy is the greatest booster to telling loathsome things about another and the actual favourite, wanting to seem as though you know the said person when in actual fact, this person is not even aware you breathe oxygen never mind exhale carbon dioxide. However, trust and believe that your life will be discussed and painted an ugly smear of red to show just how worthless and shallow you are to the masses. What’s genuinely flabbergasting is how the rumour mill is sure to tell every nasty thing, but will evade all that paints the genuine you. Such that you will get the words, “You are nothing like what it is I expected.” Translated – I have heard so many things about you that no longer add up.

The reality of things is that people will always talk, the core of the matter is that it will not be by your probing or doing, but simply being. You do not have to be a gold digger to be labelled one, you do not have to be broke to be labelled poor, you do not have to be a female dog to be labelled loose, you do not have to do a damn thing but simply coexist on earth.

My biggest bother in life is how we expect treatment we will not readily reciprocate. The mass of water always looks far deeper then it is, is the very way people will portray depth, not knowing that at the reaching of you, you are as shallow as your judgement. We expect that rumours be said about us and people know better by observation and not believe everything they are told, because fact remains, people lie. Such that the rumour mill is filled to the brink with a cascade of lies that filtering for truth is like trying to find a needle in a hay stack. Yet, the rumour mill does not run itself, humans do. What is the biggest contradiction is the speed at which we believe these said rumours about another, as its always funny when you are not on the receiving end, but the minute the tables turned, our default setting of believing the rumour mill should seize and we try analyse that this is nothing but mere lies.

Why should I believe you are better?

Why should you believe otherwise is the more appropriate question. As hearing about someone cannot be classed the same as knowing them. The very same way you expect that people get to know you through you, as opposed to what they have heard about you, you owe the same courtesy to another. Relating the very things you have heard about yourself that do not hold water, is the same way you should understand that it too can be done to another.  In the event that what you have heard is your reason for not wanting to avail the said person a chance to show you who they really are, can be respected. However, do not be the person that continues the rumour mill about another.

Don’t tell me what they said, tell me what made them comfortable to tell you.

See, this statement is so real. It should be the foundation of any friendship, as it is said show me your friends and I will show you who you are. What we fail to understand is that, some people are not your friends. The very people that can be clothed as your friends, are the ones rooting for your failure. By understanding that, you will then be able to decipher who genuinely is a friend. There is a significant difference between an acquaintance and a friend. The ability to be able to differentiate and critically analyse who brings rumours to you is essential. How they heard about you, is where the key lies.

Double Standards

We expect that people know better and not believe the lies told about us yet believe the lies old about others. It genuinely does not come together, its contradicting and shows a wavering in character stability. Knowing your stance on a matter and being able to stand firm in your belief system will ensure that you know very well how to react to situations such as that, the rumour said about another. I, particularly have no time for that, “He said, she said” bollocks, it is an utter waste of time and is just plain not needed.

So, here is a conversation I had with a guy who genuinely took the scales off my eyes.

Him: I am the most judgmental person I know, and I do not try down-play it, I am genuinely honest about it.

Me: Being judgmental says a lot more about you than it does about the other person, as humans have a tendency to portray our insecurities onto others. As a reflection of internal insecurities, they derive satisfaction in looking down upon another’s.

Him: I am only as judgmental as I am because I expect the utmost from myself, so in turn I set they very same standards for other people. Those insecurities you speak of are not internal, but rather external as I am not blind to them and I too do not try cover them up with lies of solitude.

Me: That further cements my analysis on your insecurities, only difference is they are not deep rooted and internal, but rather external and your awareness may be stronger than that of the average human.

We all embody insecurities we low-key try reflect on other people. The fact that as humans we tend to derive flaws from other people, says a lot more about oneself than it does about the other person. Rarely do we have people actually acknowledge their reflection of themselves onto others, such that when judgement is cast it really is a reflection of oneself as opposed to the lacking of another. In truth, we sneer at things we cannot fully comprehend, judge the things we do not understand and want after the things we spend our time talking about.

Inadequacy

Imperfection is through what I would have to teach myself that indeed I am perfect.
I have been carved out to be exactly who I am,
Learn the lessons I am learning,
and live the experiences I am living.

For every time they will come with a bed of sunflower roses
ready to tell me that the sun sets in my eyes
ready to tell me about how I am all that it is he wants
in the times when he will look near some perfect.
I was his muse, his light and his night.
The beginning and the end of his world.
Yet he was never enough, I never felt he was adequate for me.

Later, my heart will be written twice over,
painted with a love that will never quiet leave,
but can be buried by new found moments.
They were filled with laughter and I felt appreciated
Only, adequacy is the one thing he never possessed
Although he looked like he was cut straight out a catalog
The kind of man you paste one your bedroom walls
simply because he was beautiful to look at,
he ended up being a vague memory that I am to remember
when nights are cold, but not cold enough to reach out to

Later, I found that when you don't go searching,
You'll find them in the friend zone
He was probably looking at me as a rose,
that needed to be cared for and watered
Year after year, till eventually it was beautiful enough to cut
Only, the thorns that grew from my branches
were deep enough to sting,
yet shallow enough not to leave a scar
just a distant memory of aroma's
You wished to encounter again
His breath was intertwined with mine,
his promises were genuine
but his body never did fit mine well.
Nor did my soul yearn for him
So I walked, as I always did
When inadequacy found me

Later, it seemed that him who followed could very well be the one
oh what a joke, the one who would hurt
the one who would lie
the one who would deceive,
Yes. he was the one alright
but not in the conventional "starry eyed one" form
He came to kill every ounce of me with his betrayal
He would later make the betrayal seem like a mistake,
only I dodged a bullet.
TWICE!

Later, I found that hurt could be erased by a tissue,
he was warm, kind and soft enough to caress the pain away,
he was always gentle at my brutality
he was kind at my snarling
he was patient at my indecision
he.. He could have been the one,
only I had learnt that the one would come dressed as the devil
so I fled. and he chased, and today.
Still he chases.

Later, I found a wolf in sheep clothing.
He did not last long enough to leave an impression worth mentioning,
yet he taught me that you can speak Bible verses and still be savage
that it was an actual thing to use the Lords name in vain
Whilst trying to smooth over all the ways in which you
You simply couldn't give a damn who you destroy
On your path to seeking love.
Unimportant.

Later, it would seem I found my imperfect match,
matched in all the ways that would matter
unmatched in all the ways that would take from you
A piece to your soul,
He was a vendor really.
A sales man who was good at his art
The art of selling dreams
He sold them in all ways to which you knew
Knew that they were all lies but you believed better
oh well, damn me.
I'll marry you he said
I'll stand by you he said
I'll walk with you, Lord as foundation
He didn't lie.
Only, he married the idea of me - not me
He stood by the version of me he liked - not me
He walked with me - walked me away from the Lord
Lest he try,

I thought there would be no later.
I didn't want there to be a later.
Later always proved too good to be true
Later always looked like, it would be different this time.
I believed that this time, there would be no later.
I was wrong.

Later walked in with his lazy walk
A smile that played across his lips
Promising, daring, seeking.
He walked in with no intentions
He walked in like a calm storm
So really, I never noticed him creep under my skin,
Never saw him steal my time,
Take my heart,
nor did I see him become the later I knew I didn't need.
He made later look okay, look good.
Only, as the story usually goes.
Later became everything I knew I didn't need

I later learnt that I needed time to heal. That love would come later.
No matter how much time it took, there needed to be time to heal.

We will be magic

I want to love someone with everything I have.
To love without the fear of being hurt.
To love and be loved without barriers.
I mean really love.

To be able to call you 50 times
because you aren't picking up
and not worry that I come across as too clingy.

To be able to rock up at your house
with ice cream and wine,
and not worry that I'm invading your space.

To be able to complain about sports
and have you pretend to pay attention
whilst still watching tv so I don't feel neglected.

To have you hold me tight
when I want to leave you on the couch
alone
watching sports
because you want me close to you.

To have you explain the soccer players
with so much patience
because you did this just last week.

To have you take the hair out my face
and kiss my forehead
just because you can.

Holding me in the rain
even though I just got my hair done
because well.
You are trying to die
and you'll get it redone tomorrow.

Wanting to spend every waking minute
with me
because you are my best friend
and my lover.

To toss popcorn at each other
in the cinema
because life is too short
to be so serious.

To go on surprise dates,
with candles
and just stare at the moon
as we look at the stars.
To have you name a star after me
because you see the glow in me.

I also want to share the tears with you
without fear that you'll leave with my heart.

To be able to go to you when I cry
because I know that you are hurting just as I am.
That you watching me cry
is not a sign of weakness
but a sign that I trust you
enough to be weak around you.

To have you whisper forever
in my ear every night
before we fall asleep,
because forever is ours.

That I can show you off to the world,
because I need the world to know
just how lucky I was
to find someone like you.

And I will love you.
Love you enough to have you give me your heart
and I'll guard it with my life.

To be able to wake you up
with breakfast in bed
because I need you to know
how special you are to me.

To have you come home to petals
littering the corridors
leading you straight to a bubble bath,
with a sports magazine on the side.

To have you come home
to surprise gifts
of your favorite soccer team.

To give you foot rubs.
To give you back massages.
To treat you like the king you are to me.

Still, we will know
who the true King is
as we will pray together.

To endure together.
To know that
no matter what life will throw at us
we will be okay.

Not because we have each other
but because we have God as the foundation.

Together, we will be magic.

A Ploy

I used to believe that depression was a ploy. That those that claimed it were too afraid to speak, so they opted to wallow and have everyone around them worry sick.

I was wrong. And as all things go that you know nothing about and have never experienced yourself, there was a level of ignorance. It is not until you experience it yourself that you can comprehend how it's tendrils will take hold of your soul and refuse to let go.

That getting out bed is like slicing your wrist, because you would rather not do it. You would rather have the curtains drawn for weeks. Only leaving your bed when it's completely necessary to have the world believe you are fine. As a student, that's not often. That when you choose to get out the rut, your instinct fight you, because they have become so accustomed to darkness, to being alone. Anything, but actually come out and face the world.

Depression is not a ploy. Depression hits you when you least expect it. Your body gives into this need to heal itself and sometimes, the only way it can do that - is by going into hibernation. Away from everyone and away from anything.

Saddest part about depression is that some don't make it out the rut before it's too late. The darkness consumes your heart. The darkness takes everything there is to take. It rips you apart and leaves nothing left, till you look in the mirror and realize you no longer recognize yourself.

You are lost.

Blank

What I feel burns to come out my chest. I am not only hurt, but I am numbed by all the ups and downs. You know after far too many downs, you simply stop feeling. You stop crumbling inside after yet another disappointment. In retrospect you simply stop feeling.

But what I feel right now inside my chest is indescribable. It's as though my heart is in knots. As though pumping blood to the rest of my body is simply too much a task for my broken heart to bear. As though breathing is difficult, and the feeling of dread in my spine makes me want to faint. I am simply so torn inside, it hurts.

I loved. I loved with all that is me. I fed, I cared and I was everything he needed me to be when he needed to be that. I shifted and molded myself to fit perfectly into the canvass he drew for me. Only as time will have it, I became too small. Too small for me and too small for him. I was insufficient and so it became okay for him to tell me about other women. In particular it became okay to watch him give her everything I wish he would give me. He did everything I always knew he could do. Only it wasn't for me, it was for her. I watched. And at first I thought I was okay with it. Till eventually it became too much to bear. Too much to watch the one you love, love someone else. Eventually the little he gave me simply wasn't enough.

Although I wonder when did I become this person who was okay with getting so little? When did I start to settle for less then I deserved? When did I first say it was okay that he loved me with the little he could?

I am not this person. If this is love I don't want it at all. I don't recognize myself. So painfully Inlove am I that I will bare all pain. No. That simply isn't fair. For me or for my heart. My heart deserves better.

To fight or walk away?

Will you ever really face yourself and admit that you are flawed? That under all the masks and masks of self assurity is layers and layers of flaw? That really the reason why you find yourself in a tussle of words with everyone you love, has nothing to do with them but everything to do with you?

Well, my truth is that I am too easily hurt. I love so freely, so easily. Which is not a flaw, it's my greatest strength, because I see good in everyone. In all that I do, I am certain good will come from it as it is said that "everything works out for my good." So why then do I feel like my need to give love out to the world is tearing me apart?

Love is not supposed to feel like one dark hole taking more from you then you want to give. It is not supposed to feel like the oxygen you breathe is taken from the room and all you do is suffocate on it's bitterness. I know as well as anyone does that life is to be beautiful. yet, lately it feels like anything but beauty.

I am caught in a cycle of despair. Wanting happiness, but it always an inch too far to reach. I am bone tired, soul wrenched and simply unable to go on. I admit, that this time, I don't know what to. To fight or to walk?

Career advice Mavis Braga lives by

 This is a feature that was done by MonoChrome Magazine, a Namibian based magazine in January 2015.  For more follow this link: https://monochromemagazineblog.wordpress.com

Mavis Pombili Braga Elias is a Co-Founder of Ehaveco Events, a Namibian based initiative focused on charity, woman empowerment and at helping people and businesses realize their full potential.  She serves as Executive chairperson of the board.

She also works on a charity project called “Love is Charity” founded in 2014. In the year 2011, she joined Radio Energy whilst pursuing her studies at the Polytechnic of Namibia (now known as NUST) towards a Bachelors in Civil Engineering. With this all simultaneously at play, she also holds a part-time job at Denchi Consulting Engineers.

We wanted to know why and how she manages to keep so busy. This is what she had to say: 

“The one thing our First lady said on her Masters of Success interview, was that “A high performance individual, ensures they lead a high performance lifestyle.” This is to say that if you want to be set apart in your journey and attain success, what are you doing every day to ensure you get the results?

Now, I hate mornings with every part of my soul. Every morning I need to fight myself out of bed, such that I sometimes have thoughts like, “do I really need this job?’ I have this theory that if life started at 10am I would be the hardest working citizen in this country. Nonetheless, it is during these times that I am reminded about what Madam Geingos said, “I am a high performance individual”.

I always have my vision in sight and I love looking forward. I have cast out my vision, written it on paper and every day I do bit by bit to get to my dreams. The lesson I learnt along the way is to enjoy every minute of it. There was a time I was so knee deep in work, I had no time for friends or family. I had a routine that literally comprised only of work, school and sleep. It resulted in a nervous breakdown during the worst time possible, the end of semester (exam time). I could not afford to be in bed resting, but my body was exhausted. It is from then on that I decided that success is not worth my health, and I will have fun to get to where I envision myself. I think that I worked as hard as I did, because I feared mediocrity. The thought scared me and in turn I worked myself to sheer exhaustion. It is important to strike a balance. It took that breakdown to fully understand and see that family is important, if anything it is more important than your dreams and ambitions.

If I am to give someone career advice, it would be the simply, ‘no condition in life is permanent.’ You always have the power to change any situation in your life. Knowing and understanding the power you have is essential, because fear of the unknown can sometimes cripple potential. The fear to; start that business, or quit that job that makes you unhappy, or go back to school. Life is too short to not see out your dreams. The beauty in it is that you can set small goals, that lead you to the bigger goal. This ensures that you feel like you are moving forward, because all too often we feel like we are pushing and working yet there are no results being yielded.

The one thing that my father told me in the year 2014 is that, ‘Do not be obsessed with success, but rather become obsessed with what will make you successful.” This quote has become what I live by, such that I make a conscious effort to forget about the perks that come with being successful and rather make an effort to enjoy the work that will lead me to the said success. It ensures that you enjoy what you are doing, without focusing on the rewards. I have come to realize that the more I simply enjoy the work, the more reward comes as a result. Far too often, we spend our time slaving away and not enjoying what we are doing, and wind up living miserably. Under the illusion that one day it will all be worth it. For the most part it is true, because you will most likely achieve the set out dream, but what happens when you don’t? All that labor, hard work and misery for nothing? The least you can do is enjoy the journey.

What I will be trying out this year, thanks to Afra Shimming-Chase is what they call a vision board. This is typically a board where you creatively lay out what you will achieve, whether long term or short term goals.

Why we love Mavis?

Style- I want to laugh so hard at this. My style is so basic, I am your Mr. Price girl. I literally live for the Stuttafords 25% sale. In truth though, I am currently working to revamp my wardrobe so that it goes in line with the image I am building. Growing up I had a love for skirts and anything short, as it was what I was most comfortable in. However, age doesn’t allow you to gallivant in town in shorts and a tank top. The greatest struggle is that I look so different on stage, to what I would look like on an ordinary day, almost as though I am selling dreams.

Passion – I love doing charity work. It gives me the greatest satisfaction in life. I cannot begin to express the feeling that comes with knowing that you helped make a difference in someone’s life. Reading, goes among my top passions. I read passionately. I recall back in school, I read so much my teachers would confiscate my novels before each class period. Unfortunately, I no longer have much time to lounge around with a novel all day. I recently read a trilogy I thoroughly enjoyed. Not to mention the books I recently got from Uncle Spikes book exchange – I read this particular trilogy called “The girl with the dragon tattoo” by Stieg Larsson in high school and just could never find the books. Until recently, I was so happy!

Activities – does sleep count? I rarely get to sleep. I believe that I can sleep a week straight. Wait, I need to stress how much I love sleep. Such a luxury and commodity that I cannot afford. Else, I am a religious church goer. Religious, because I ensure I do not miss a Sunday. It does something for my spirit that I simply always have to go back. This actually got me thinking, what do I do for fun? I can honestly say I do not know. I enjoy MCing, but that’s still work. Oh, family game nights! Epic fun! When I am home, game nights are simply too much fun. The beauty is that I do that with the people I love most.

Advice – The greatest piece of advice I ever got was from Daisry Matias. She said, ‘Your feet can not take you where your mind has never been.”

Learn a little bit more about Mavis with this quick quiz!

Motivational Speech

Upon compiling this speech, I felt a great surge of fear, inadequacy and an emotion I cannot put a name to – a great feeling that was both overwhelming and fulfilling. I disclose these things here because I am not to create or fabricate an image of someone who understands what I am doing standing in front of you, because truth of the matter is that I do not.

I do not have a story that speaks of the struggles I endured trying to pay for my own school fees, I do not have a story of drug addiction and victoriously leaving the life style behind, I do not have a story of an abusive parent, because these are the stories that most inspire and liberate, because these are the stories that are most related to. These are the stories that make the heroes of our nation. I look on with great awe at people who have beat the odds and have come up on top despite having had the most difficult circumstances to grow up in. It is with this that I came to the conclusion that I have absolutely no excuse to not  make it in life and it is from that that I derived the topic on which I will share with you tonight.

The real you versus the you people see

See all too often the judgement placed on our lives becomes what defines us. Such that what people say about you becomes your reality. Allow me to be absolutely blunt but when people call you worthless, inadequate, born to become nothing, a slut, a whore or simply lazy. The more these things are spoken into your life, the more they start to become your reality. It is the same with having someone compliment you and tell you that you are absolutely talented; you start to see yourself in that light. When people give praise to your achievements, it creates a level of pride that in turn boosts your self esteem.

Growing up I was looked at as the girl that is far too outspoken and has a personality that screams ‘will fall pregnant at 16’. I am not even entirely sure what about an eleven year old can make one believe that they are prone to fall pregnant at a young age. Here is what is interesting about the fact that people constantly told me I look like I would fall pregnant young. I believed them. I started to believe that I was a wild teenager who was far too experimental with life, and far too outspoken, but what about being experimental and outspoken directly equates to actually ending up in bed with someone? It was not until I was in grade 7, when Mrs. Brandt from this very Oranjemund Private School told me that I should one day return to thank her for having believed in my potential that I started to view myself differently. Let me give you a background on Mrs. Brandt, she is a woman who was feared by most scholars and was as tough as nails. She taught math and would reward you for good work. Being rewarded by her must be what a noble peace prize winner feels like, because she made you feel special. Now, for a 12 year old me to be told that she believes in me was huge. It was like getting both a Christmas gift and a birthday gift in one year, in a black house hold. That was the turning point in my life. I started to believe that indeed I do have potential. It was from where my love for math was born and it was from where I never quit no matter how hard it got.

When I went to high school I become rebellious as a defence mechanism. Again I was seen as anything but intelligent. I was too mature for my age and in turn I was prone to get into tussle of words with girls far older then me which earned me a name that no one can be proud of. I used it as a shield so that people could not get close enough to hurt me. While they so eagerly believed I was good for nothing, I went on to lead societies, I was a leader in Delta for Christ (ironic right) and I become the chairperson of the history society and excelled in my school work, all the while letting the outside world believe that I had an attitude, which was not exactly false. I recall a day in my maths class in grade 11, when the teacher was telling us to drop maths higher level and simply do ordinary level because we weren’t good enough. She then asked us to tell her what we plan on studying in university so as to decide whether we should stay on higher level or move to ordinary level. I told the class that I want to study civil engineering, the class laughed and said I was far too girly and not nearly smart enough. Now, my character is such that if you tell me I cannot do something, I will go out there and show you just how wrong you are.

Only, when I told my biological father this (I have two dads, biological and step) he told me that I was too girly for something like engineering. So when someone who is that close to you does not believe in your dreams it tarnishes the confidence in you. It breaks down something with in you, because this is someone you trust. This is not a class mate who wants to poke fun at me, this is my father. But since my character is such that, if someone tells me I cannot do something I go out and I show them just how well I can do it, I went and enrolled at the Polytechnic of Namibia as an engineering student. The doubt people had in my abilities was the first hurdle, the second was believing in myself, because once people have such a perception of you, you tend to do double the work to prove both yourself and them wrong. First year as an engineering student was both hell on wheels and sheer heaven. A paradox yes. I loved the challenge, but the challenge was far more difficult than I expected. However, having passed grade 12 with flying colors I grew cocky and underestimated just how difficult it really is. So yes you guessed it, I failed math!

The one subject I was so sure I could pass, well there is grade 11 math and then there’s engineering math. Two worlds apart, but having failed math was the greatest blessing I ever received. It knocked me straight back down to earth and showed me that, it is not ambition that makes one pass grades, but hard work. I had to go through that, sheer embarrassment because for a minute there my dad looked as though he may have been right and also it made me realize that it was not about what people say you can and cannot do, but about how much you want something regardless of what people may say.

I had a complex that too needed altering, I for so long lived behind a shield warding off people, that it almost became exactly who I am. I struggled to get people to see the real me, because what I portrayed became more evident. My closest friends hated me at first until they got to know me. What good can one drive from being disliked until you let people in. So the real me became a shadow if what people saw on the outside. It started to outweigh who I really am.

The best of ourselves is usually masked behind layers and layers of protection. Then we grow offended when people label us things we are not. I am by no means saying that you are to be so consumed by the world and what they say about you, but wouldn’t it be great if people didn’t always get the wrong impression of you. Such that, a girl can be wearing mini-skirts and crop tops and will get offended when guys do not want a serious relationship. The way you dress is not to define who you are, but it is a reflection of your character. Men will speak about women with derogatory terms and expect to find a good woman, yet good girls tend to look right past them. The same analogy applies to those who are simply ill judged. That you can be an A+ student, yet people simply assume you ate boring and discard you as a nerd.

Truth of the matter is that one cannot dictate how people relate to you, or how they judge you. What you can dictate is what’s on the inside. What potential lies on the inside is completely up to you. Regardless of what people may have said or how it is they perceive you. If you want something, go and get it. If you believe you can be something, do it. Impossible has the word possible in it. Let me tell you a story:

There was a couple who got married and the man promised his wife that he would be wealthy one day and that she should just trust him.

Lesson 1: Believe in your dreams.

He told her that if he didn’t get to a place where he can provide for her well, she should leave him. This man went from interview to interview, pitched ideas to banks for financing and near some did all he could to see out his dreams. He wanted success so much, he went with everything he had.

Lesson 2: Tirelessly working for what you believe in.

His wife stuck by his side and loved him. She watched him slave after his dreams day after day. I bet you are all expecting me to tell you how his dreams came true because he was diligent. No, one day he came home to his wife. He asked his wife to leave him because he wasn’t going to see out his dreams and couldn’t see them materializing. He believed she deserved better, because he was ready to give up. His wife, stayed. She told him that she refused to leave him, simply because of something as petty as wealth.

Lesson 3: Money isn’t everything.

To cheer him up she decided, let’s play a game.  The game was to incorporate his visions and dreams. They decided to get houses involved, because his passion was property. They got money involved so that they could trade the houses. They added property, so that one could buy the property to build on. They got a bank, they got a dice. They involved taking chances, and they involved going to prison to ensure that there were consequences for ones actions. They ensured that you derived a 20 000$ income if you could pass begin. They played this game and realized that it was actually fun and embodied everything he wanted. They decided to get funding and get it played around the world.

Lesson 4: You need a team who can restore your faith when its down.

They were turned down by potential investors, because apparently the game was too difficult to understand. They didn’t give up and searched for funding till eventually someone bought into their dreams. Today the game is played all over the world, and most of you have played it, some of you even have it in your homes. It is known as monopoly. Today Mr. Charles Darrow is to whom we owe a lot of families coming together to play.

Lesson 5: your dreams will come true, sometimes just not in the way you envisioned it.

I decided to tell you this story because most of us are down in our luck, simply unbelieving and have somewhat given up the possibility of ever seeing out our potential, because we have been led to believe it is impossible. Yes, you may be unable to pay for your education. Yes, your parents may not want you to go study what you are really passionate about. Yes, you have wasted opportunities that were given to you. Yes, everyone around you is doing well and you are not. Or maybe, yes you are doing well but the weaknesses in your personal life affect your career. Yes, these are all issues that we face. But these are only limiting factors, the hurdles in the way. Everyone has the things that set them back. But here’s the good news, you have identified them. Now you can work on them and past them.

The lessons I leave with you today are:

Lesson 1: Belief in your dreams

Lesson 2: Tirelessly working for what you believe in

Lesson 3: Money isn’t everything.

Lesson 4: You need a team who can restore your faith when its down.

Lesson 5/; your dreams will come true, sometimes just not in the way you envisioned it.

Above speakers at the night of inspiration from left: Mavis Elias, First Lady of the Republic of Namibia Madam Monica Geingos and Vincent Shimutukweni